Documentaries from Lemmington Chubster
by CC-999
Summary: I will be putting random funny Star Wars related stories here using the same characters over and over again
1. Allegiances

Alliegances

Master Liam - Short skinny Jedi master

Chancellor Lane - Short tubby guy with a mullet, chancellor of the Republic of Space Africa

Darth Keego - Evil Sith Lord with dreadlocks

Mistress Alyssa - Dictator of Space Russia, tall with long hair

Captain Dave - Captain of the chancellor's guard, tall with a beard and buzz cut

Master Michael - Tall tubby Jedi master, has a beard, he claims that Master Liam is secretly a Sith

Hondo Jonah - Space Pirate, Short skinny, has a long beard and a Mohawk , loves money, hates Jedi

Old Man Tub - The parent/guardian of the world

Nemo - Random little kid who thinks he is Nemo the fish, is obsessed with video games

I hope you guys enjoy this! I will basically just be making random funny stories with these characters


	2. Extreme Negotiations

**Post in the comments what you think about this chapter!**

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, Space Africa and Space China were locked in the most important negotiations of the century; how to split time-share on the planet Rel-Staii. Chancellor Lane was trying his best to get his Republic's money's worth out of Rel-Staii, while Senator Hokoob, Space China's representative was simply trying to keep Space China relevant.

"I declare this matter closed!" Yelled Chancellor Lane, his mullet waving back and forth, "We get 9 months, you get 3! Case closed!"

"No! No! No!" Senator Hokoob screamed. "We get money! You get 2 month time! We get 10 month!"

"How dare you? You filthy litt-" Chancellor Lane began but was cut off when he heard a cough behind him.

"Ah, excuse me gentlemen, but it seems you have something I want." The man behind Chancellor Lane said.

Chancellor Lane whirled around in his wheely chair only to see that it was Hondo Jonah.

"Give me 12 months of time, my friends, and I will give you something much better. Imagination." Hondo Jonah said calmly.

Chancellor Lane shook his mullet, he knew that his days of negotiating time-share were finally done.

-ELSEWHERE-

Captain Dave was standing in line for coffee when he received a call on his HoloCom. He picked it up and clicked answer. A holographic figure of Hondo Jonah appeared.

"Bring 20,000 Republic Credits to the Senate Office, or I will make Chancellor Lane sign my time-share." Hondo Jonah threatened. Dave knew he was telling the truth, he could see Chancellor Lane's mullet shaking in the back ground.

"You'll pay for this, Hondo!" Dave said and hung up.

-SENATEBUILDING2HOURSLATER-

Chancellor Lane was beginning to fear that he would have to sign time-share, when he heard the door open. Captain Dave walked in calmly, and shot the Space Pirate's who were guarding Chancellor Lane.

"Get up sir, we need to get out of here." Captain Dave said, before he turned and saw Hondo Jonah running at him.

"HONDOOOOO JONAAAAAHHHHHH!" The Space Pirate Leader screamed as he slammed into Captain Dave.

Dave threw a right hook followed by and uppercut to Hondo's jaw. Hondo slid back, and pulled out a blaster, but Dave was too fast. Dave grabbed the blaster and twisted Hondo's hand back. With a sweep of his leg, Dave had Hondo lying face down on the floor. Hondo rolled over and jumped up.

"Mistake, Captain Dave." Hondo said. "You should know I always carry two blasters."

Hondo shot at Dave, but Dave ducked, and the blaster bolt hit Senator Hokoob instead, who was sitting behind Dave. Dave watched Hokoob fall to the ground in shock, not realizing that Hondo was still on the attack.

Hondo Jonah slammed into Dave from behind, knocking him over. Dave started to get up, but Hondo Jonah kicked him in the face. Hondo Jonah turned towards Chancellor Lane and bowed.

"This is my cue to leave. I'll be back, Chancellor." Hondo Jonah said as he walked out the door.

A senate guard helped up Captain Dave as Chancellor Lane stood there in shock, his mullet shaking.


	3. Clank Clank Clank

*DUH*

*DUH*

*DUH*

Something was banging on the bulkhead door in Hondo Jonah's ship. The banging made an eerie sound when it echoed off of Hondo Jonah's cold, durasteel walls. Hondo Jonah was flying a Gizer-95 Flight cargo ship, updated with the latest technology from the black markets on Coruscant. Hondo Jonah was sitting in the cockpit with one of his pirate soldiers, Oobwa Maka.

"So, I think I like my new time share idea." Hondo Jonah said. " I'm planning on forcing the republic into buying cheap condominiums on Florrum. What do you think?"

"Uh, I guess so, Boss. I don't know what a time share is..." Oobwa Maka replied.

"You fool!" Hondo Jonah shouted, suddenly standing up. "How is this possible?"

"Um, I'm sorry Boss!" Oobwa replied, shaking.

"No! Unacceptable!" Hondo Jonah yelled. Hondo Jonah pulled his blaster out from it's holster, cleverly hidden under his robe to deter from the eyes of Coruscant security forces, and shot Oobwa 5 times in the chest.

"I do not accept fools on my crew!" Hondo Jonah shouted.

*DUH*

"Gah, stupid noise!" Hondo Jonah said, irritated.

*DUH*

Hondo Jonah flinched.

*DUH*

Hondo Jonah became angry.

*DUH*

Hondo Jonah pulled out his datapad and wrote "reminder: kill person who sold me ship with faulty hyperdrive"

*DUH*

Hondo Jonah screamed in rage.

*DUH*

Hondo Jonah sat back down and pulled the ship to a stop. As the ship exited hyper space, Hondo Jonah noticed a planet appear on the horizon.

"I cannot take this ship any longer." He said aloud. "Whatever this planet is, it is mine now!"

-Elserwhere-

Captain Dave was walking down a corridor, his boots clanging against the metal durasteel floor. The sun glinted from a window off the edge of the wall. The walls were painted bright chrome, a horrible color scheme. Captain Dave was walking down the hallway to Chancellor Lane's office. As Captain Dave walked in, he saw the pudgy man was worried.

"Come look at this!" Chancellor Lane said

Captain Dave walked over and stared at the gleaming holo-projector that Chancellor Lane had infront of him. What Captain Dave saw scared him. It scared him greatly.


End file.
